Memories

It's funny how life can suddenly put you in a place that you've been before, but everything is different. For today's run, I decided for a change of scene to loop around Battery Park and then head up the Hudson. The upper Hudson part of the route passed through Riverside Park, which was a run that I used to do quite often when I was in Law School during my first New York life, but haven't at all since I moved back to the City at the beginning of the year. So, it shouldn't have been a surprise as I headed up past all the sights and sounds of the West Side that I'd think back to the last time I did that run and how things have changed.

It was the spring of '04. I'd just picked up running regularly after I'd gone home for Christmas break and my Mom had told me I was putting on a few pounds -- as she patted my belly. Love you, Mom. I'd targeted the Brooklyn Half Marathon as a race because (1) I'm a competitive S.O.B., (2) if I didn't have a target on the calendar that'd be a challenge I wouldn't stick with it, (3) the race was in April, which would let me run it as a farewell to N.Y.C., if Erin and I needed to move away.

I hit this point in the reminiscing at the northern part of the Cherry Walk portion of Riverside Park, with both the tower of Riverside Church in sight and Grant's Tomb, which I'd see at the finish of every run from Columbia and I viewed as a giant beacon calling me to the finish. That really brought back some memories of how things were then. See, at the time that this was going on, Erin had a job offer in D.C. I had nothing. Thanks in part to the economy's tailspin in '02 and in part my own uncertainty and lack of direction, I'd utterly and miserably failed at landing a post-graduation job. If I could list the firms I interviewed with -- and had callbacks to -- it'd be impressive. A who's who list of the New York legal world that impressed (I later learned) the friends I'd make in D.C. simply because they'd offered me interviews. "wow, they talked to you?" Of course, that was neither the standard for myself nor any other Columbia graduate. I must have done 50, maybe 75, interviews over my second and the first half of my third year of law school, and the rejections flowed like water. So, we were going to move to D.C. Erin had a job there. I could get a fresh start -- although we were really uncertain about how things would turn out. I don't think either of us were really thrilled about the move, but both viewed it as the best shot we had of coming out ahead.

And through all of this, I'd started running. I'm not sure if it was to get away or to get ahead. The goals at the time were modest. 9mm on training runs. 1:45 for the Half. I was thrilled every race where I put in a sub-8 time. Success after success was an amazing (and sometimes melancholy) counterpoint to my professional career. And, by the way, on that Half, I finished in 1:49:44. Four minutes off the pace. Which I was upset with for about 15 minutes -- until I realized that, unlike my job search, the answer here wasn't zero-sum. Even though I missed the goal, the race remained a success. And perhaps, that was something that I could learn to bring to other areas of my life -- sometimes, success isn't winning; sometimes the success is the full effort of the attempt. The simple fact of participating in a sport was uplifting. And, in the end, for every failure we must succeed at something. Too much failure beats down the spirit, tramples the will to even try to excel. I think the running helped in ways that I could only appreciate later.

So, I was on this run in my Second New York Life. Erin and I had spent a miserable 18 months trying to make D.C. work until on a wing and prayer we decided we needed to try New York again. Now, I'm in a career that (although I often bitch about the hours) I enjoy and am proud to be a part of. Erin's in a job that she really likes and can take her places. We've gotten our lives out of the morass of uncertainty that followed us as we left NY 2 1/2 years ago. And the running, well, the goals are a bit different now. So, I ran. Stronger, happier, more certain of my path and my objectives than the last time I'd crossed this way. In a way it was the same. In a way, completely different.

Route: Williamsburg Bridge, Battery Park, N. on Hudson R. to 125th Street, S. on Hudson R. to 14th Street.
Distance: 21.0 miles
Time: 2:41:54 (7:43 pace)